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Saying Goodbye

 
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Withstand the Fury
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Joined: 31 Aug 2021
Posts: 79
Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2021 9:16 am    Post subject: Saying Goodbye

With Opera Dragon's permission, a PDF of "Saying Goodbye" has been posted on Aiera that might make for easier reading than the long, scrolling document on the main site.

Just for reference, the story is 15 pages long. That's a lot of text.

Check it out.
Smile WtFD
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Corv
Leader of Titans of Ether
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Joined: 29 Jul 2021
Posts: 643
Location: Tirol, Austria

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2021 12:43 pm    Post subject:

Thanks WtFD for uploading a pdf! Reading grey on black might be a bit difficult yes Smile . I uploaded an "official" pdf now. (link in news, in fiction section and here )

Please replace your pdf on your site with this one, thanks!
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Corv Dragon
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Withstand the Fury
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Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2021 5:43 pm    Post subject:

Will do.

Smile WtFD
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Operadragon
Ultima Lore Advisor
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Joined: 01 Sep 2021
Posts: 170
Location: Oklahoma, USA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2021 12:35 pm    Post subject:

So guys and gals...what does everyone think about the story?

I've been working very hard on it and would like the feedback!

Thanks,
Opera
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Operadragon
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Zini
Titan of Ether
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Joined: 08 Sep 2021
Posts: 34
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2021 6:03 pm    Post subject:

Excellent! I found the story very interesting, even though I never played Serpent Isle It is certainly very well written.

I am looking forward to read more of your work.
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Corv
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2021 1:14 pm    Post subject:

Operadragon wrote:
So guys and gals...what does everyone think about the story?

I've been working very hard on it and would like the feedback!

Thanks,
Opera


Opera, think of it this way: No feedback is good feedback. If the story would be bad you would get tons of posts here. Its sad but true.
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Sowser
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Joined: 03 Oct 2021
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 2021 7:25 pm    Post subject:

To tell you the truth I thought the story was a little dry. There were also a few technical problems that I'll be happy to point out if you want the constructive criticism. It didn't really follow that Black Thorn, if he was really contrite wouldn't have tried to correct the perception that Lord British was an evil tyrant. I assume that Xenka in a future story will be the instrument by which the other party members stranded after SI find out how to return to Britannia since she appears to know how to accomplish this given the fact that she tells Black Thorn to go back home. I also don't understand the fact that the Order Serpent needs to be bound. It's been a while since I played the game but I don't remember this being mentioned and I don't think the Avatar could have completed his task if it were true because if the Order Serpent was insane then Balance wouldn’t have been restored. Try not to take it personally Opera, you wanted feedback and that's what I thought of while I was reading your story. I did enjoy remembering all of the Monks and I think that the premise of the story, the disbanding, was an excellent concept. I do look forward to future works where we'll hopefully find out more about our stranded companions.
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Withstand the Fury
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:01 am    Post subject:

Sowser wrote:
To tell you the truth I thought the story was a little dry. There were also a few technical problems that I'll be happy to point out if you want the constructive criticism. It didn't really follow that Black Thorn, if he was really contrite wouldn't have tried to correct the perception that Lord British was an evil tyrant.


The impression I got from both the story and also the Ultima history and backstory established surrounding Blackthorn is that he came to Serpent Isle to find his redemption, but suffered long in silence (it has been suspected that he is the monk that does not speak in Serpent Isle), trapped in a shell of guilt of his own creation in which he would feel unable to speak the truth of Lord British's virtue.

That was wordy.

Essentially, he has felt so caught up in his own guilt and regret that he has felt likewise unable to speak out and correct people's perceptions.

Sowser wrote:
I assume that Xenka in a future story will be the instrument by which the other party members stranded after SI find out how to return to Britannia since she appears to know how to accomplish this given the fact that she tells Black Thorn to go back home.


This is Opera's to answer, if he chooses, so I won't comment on it.

Sowser wrote:
I also don't understand the fact that the Order Serpent needs to be bound. It's been a while since I played the game but I don't remember this being mentioned and I don't think the Avatar could have completed his task if it were true because if the Order Serpent was insane then Balance wouldn’t have been restored.


Opera can probably reply better, but the concept of having to bind the Order Serpent is not a new one.

Canonically speaking, it makes sense - the loss of Balance drove the Chaos Serpent insane, and it stands to reason that it would have the same effect on the Order Serpent. In fact, its effect on the Order Serpent would be more profound, since the Chaos Serpent was broken into the banes at some point and so was exposed to the Imbalance for less time.

Dupre's sacrifice was necessary to stabilize the insane reconstructed Chaos Serpent, and together the Chaos and Balance Serpents could work to restore Balance and bring Order back in line - but it stands to reason that they might not be able to do this indefinitely. Likely, a stabilizing force would be necessary for the Order Serpent as well, in order to prevent it from trying to break that Balance.

I suggest you read this earlier fiction by John "Houston Dragon" Hosie. It also explains the reasoning for why Order need be bound.

Very Happy WtFD
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Operadragon
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Joined: 01 Sep 2021
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2021 8:12 am    Post subject:

To respond:

WtF: Right on in many regards...you are definitely drawing many of the conclusions that I had hoped for when a person reads the story.

Sowser: I'm very disappointed that you disliked the story. But there are responses that I will make, and then there are others that I will not, because of various reasons ranging from "giving away stuff too early" to "don't have the inclination."

1) "Dry" - There is a certain mood that I tried to convey in this story. It had to show the internal struggles of the characters, as well as reveal plot little by little. It also had to do so in a certain pace, otherwise nobody reading will care about the characters in the story (and granted, some people may not care at all, but they will become intimately involved with the characters on a literary level). Thus, the pacing and meticulous attention to show many differing streams of consciousness. So my style isn't for you, it seems. I am sorry.

2) Blackthorn - He has been a resident of Serpent Isle ever since the days of Ultima V. Refer to the ingame book written by Brother Markus which establishes Blackthorn on Monk Isle specifically. Now, as Monk Isle is a "sanctuary" of sorts from the rest of SI, it is part of Serpent Isle, and thus is of the same historical midset of several generations past. We have to understand that BT is smack dab in the middle of a "stranger in a strange land" situation when he first comes to SI. He most likely will blend in and be assimilated by the culture, considering standing up for something he believes is definitely not his strength at this point. Remember that Britannia and "Beast" British is rarely, if at all, mentioned on SI...over time, he begins to live the simple life of a monk, and every day with no mention of the land of his birth makes him a little stronger-willed. Then the events of Ultima VII: Part 2 come about, and the person who (indirectly) causes his exile comes face to face with Tarlin/Blackthorn, and it all comes rushing back like a kick in the stomach. After that day, the guilt is stronger than ever, and the realization starts sinking in that he is going to play a part in the history of Britannia once again. More on Blackthorn later, but not on the forum. *Smile, nudge*

3) Xenka - Xenka is many things. All-powerful is *not* one of them. She is not the instrument, conduit, etc. by which the Companions return to Britannia. No other comments.

4) The Order Serpent - Ophidian history tells us that when the Great Earth Serpent was pulled from the Void by Exodus, the great Imbalance War began. The Chaos and Order Serpents, insane from the effects of the Imbalance, fought about in the Void, as their respective followers did in the material world. The Great Hierophant was unable to keep the followers of Order and Chaos in Balance without the power and wisdom of the Great Earth Serpent, and in a brief and bloody war, the forces of Order decimated the forces of Chaos. The Chaos Serpent was broken into the Banes, who were then trapped at the opposing Order Temple. How the Banes were loosed and the ensuing chaos (pun fully intended) is clear if played through in the game.

5) Binding the Order Serpent - Well, since the Order Serpent has existed in the Void for the entire time, the effects of the Imbalance have been devastating for it. Whereas Dupre sacrifices himself to create the Ashes of Balance needed to bind the Chaos Serpent once reassembled, a similar ritual will need to be performed to truly bring the three Serpents into Balance. Rest assured, without a binding force, the Order Serpent will try to break the Balance.

I won't say more, but trust me when I say that these are just some of the questions I had hoped would be brought up. They will be addressed later...but not now...Ciao!

And Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day to all!
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Operadragon
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d++++ e++++ N++++ T+ Om+ u+++ uC++++ uF uG+++ uLB++ uA++
o-- oA+++ oE++++ z++ a27
UK1!2!3!E4!5!6!W!M!A!7'!L!S'!8!(9!)
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